Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I will pee on everything he values.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize