I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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