She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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