Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
