some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
