just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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