Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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