is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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