69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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