but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Small penises have feelings too.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
