After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
