I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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