He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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