Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
