i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
