New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
