can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
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Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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