I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
