i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you never un-have a 4some
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
