You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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