How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
