so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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