he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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