How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
