physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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