well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
