I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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