Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
