Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
