i may or may not be watching the land before time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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