Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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