Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize