So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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