Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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