We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
