On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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