Soap is not a condiment
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
