Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
