Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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