I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
