curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
