so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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