so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
