i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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