If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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