sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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