i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize