There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
