We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
