please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize