as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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