I don't think brook has ever known best
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
