i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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