A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
