If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
