the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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