just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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