you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
