True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
