walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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