Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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