Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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