Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
