oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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