who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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