Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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