capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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