Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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