I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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